Aftermath
by CarolineKenello
Summary: The war with Avlarez has finally ended. But not everything has quite gone back to normal. Gray's trying to keep things to himself again and his friends don't like it. Natsu has his share of things that are bothering him, and it seems it's up to him to get Gray to talk. Because they both had things they needed to say, and Gray's silence will only distance their uncertain friendship.
1. Bottled Up Feelings

**Okay, so this is going to be about four, or three chapters long since I couldn't post it as one or two.**

 **Thanks so much to my sister whose time playing with me has inspired this story, and the "promise to promise" rant that's in later chapters is something she made up and allowed me to use, along with the "drooling" code word that's also in later chapters. Thanks so much to my sister for the inspiration and allowing me to use a few things she made up in our game, which is always fun and has unpredictable teamwork when we play. I couldn't have wrote this one nearly as good as it turned out without you.**

 **This is NOT a pairing story.**

 **This one should be around three or four chapters, and I was really happy with the way the end turned out. Hope you all enjoy, and have a nice day!**

 **Thanks so much for reading!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or its characters. And the Promise to promise part of one of Natsu's rants and the code word that was "drool" or "drooling" belongs to my sister.**

Chapter 1 Bottled Up Feelings

At last everything with Avatar and Alvarez was finally over.

Gray Fullbuster sat in his usual seat in the finally rebuilt guildhall.

How many times Fairy Tail had been broken down and had to be rebuilt he could not remember.

Everyone was celebrating the end of the war with Alvarez, which had lasted months.

Now all the Fairy Tail mages could relax, or go on a few jobs, play around, or even start a friendly-or a not-so-friendly brawl. Things were finally back to normal.

Or at least that's what it seemed to be from a glance.

"Haha! Gotcha you hedgehog!" Natsu Dragneel exclaimed as he knocked Gajeel Redfox down in their fight, who still lay on the ground as the fire Dragonslayer was claiming victory.

Gray watched as everyone in the guild celebrated Fairy Tail's victory in their own ways. Everyone seemed so happy, and they all were smiling, Gray included.

But now that he had some time to relax, his thoughts took a bit of a darker turn, unlike his obviously happy guildmates.

So many times they had almost lost someone in the fights.

But it wasn't just the war that the ice Mage was thinking about.

Many of the things he and his friends had been through over the past few months were starting to resurface in his mind and bother him again.

And to make matters worse some of it rooted all the way back to Tartaros, and if you wanted to get complicated with it all, it could be seen going even further back than even _that_.

Gray sat in his usual spot in the guild watching his friends as they celebrated. They all looked like they were having a great time.

He could see Cana in her usual spot in the guild, only _today_ Gildarts stood beside her, he could see Wendy and Carla, Erza, Lucy, Happy and Natsu all hanging out having a good time.

Natsu had clearly finished his fight with Gajeel, and despite a few complaints about his fighting ending too soon, he seemed to be having lots of fun with the others as they all chatted away and played games.

The entire guild was here, and they were all smiling and having such a great time.

Suddenly a voice interrupted his thoughts and observations.

"How are your injuries recovering?" Erza asked him as she took a seat beside him.

Gray suddenly felt the urge to sneak away and hide away at home or somewhere else. Instead he simply turned and smiled at Erza. She didn't have to know what he was thinking about; and he hoped that she hadn't noticed he hadn't really been hanging out with their team or _anyone_ in the guild really.

"I'm fine." Gray replied automatically smiling back at his friend. "You?"

"I'm great. I'm glad you're feeling better." Erza replied smiling at Gray.

Gray nearly grimaced. Sure his wounds were healing up pretty well, but he honestly couldn't say he was feeling better, could he? With all his dark thoughts and everything bothering him he was pretty sure he might've been lying. Either that or just leading Erza on to assuming everything was great with the smallest and simplest amount of words as possible.

Gray couldn't help but wonder what Erza would be saying had she not seen his smile, but what he kept hidden behind it...

But he wouldn't allow the things on his mind to trouble anyone else. It was his burden, no one else's. After all, a lot of it was his fault or they were simply his problems.

"Well I should get going now." Erza stated.

"Where are you going? Not leaving for home yet, right? It's kind of early for that..." Gray asked her, letting some minor disappointment sound in his voice.

He would've felt disappointed, if he wasn't feeling so much other stuff instead.

"Of course not!" Erza laughed. "I'm off to pick up some cake. Want to come?"

Gray smiled despite his other thoughts. He considered her offer hesitantly.

He was about to just say yes when he saw Natsu turn and glance at him strangely. Gray couldn't help but wince.

He suddenly remembered some of the worst things that happened during the war with Alvarez.

"You alright?" Erza asked her expression turning slightly concerned.

"Yeah. And sure I'll come." Gray replied hurriedly, not liking the way Natsu had glanced at him.

Something about the look reminded him...

It reminded him of more of the things on his mind that were bothering him. Something specific that was for some reason seeming to bother him the most.

The two walked towards the doors.

"Hey! Where are you two going?" Natsu called to them, a hint of suspicion in his eyes.

"We're going to pick up some cake." Erza told him, giving him an excited smile.

"Oh...have fun! See you two soon!" Natsu called seeming like his usual self.

"Behave yourself." Erza warned him as she and Gray headed outside, causing the dragonslayer to smile nervously as he waved bye to them.

Gray had hoped that perhaps going with Erza could help him get his mind off all his dark thoughts, while it would also take him away from some of the people that reminded him of the things bothering him, but he was wrong.

He'd messed up so many times and so badly in his life, and it seemed as much as he thought he'd gotten better, he was still messing up badly in ways that could get people hurt.

Gray felt the familiar crushing feelings of his guilt and regret sinking in and forcing his attention back onto all his horrible mistakes, rather than his sort of numbness he could get, by trying to ignore it all and be distracted with something else, or simply when he'd been feeling too much pain.

"You're quiet." Erza observed.

"Am I?" Gray asked with fake surprise in his voice.

Erza nodded and considered it for a moment.

"Gray?" Erza started.

"Y-yes?" Gray replied quietly.

He was getting nervous. Was she upset or mad with him for his latest awful mistakes? Had Natsu told her about the other things that had happened?

Not to mention the worst parts-in his opinion anyway, that Erza had actually wittnessed.

 _Damn it._ Gray thought bitterly. Why did he always let his emotions cloud over everything else at the worst times possible?

First his grief for his dead parents and friends had caused him to continually reject Ur and run off into a fight with _that demon_ that he could never have won against back then, causing Ur to go after him and having to sacrifice herself to save her two students.

Second, he let his emotions with the past cloud him again when he was finally reunited with Lyon. So the first attempt at using Iced Shell on Lyon to stop him from reviving Deliora had probably not been necessary; and he _hadn't wanted_ to leave his friends, but he didn't want to be forced into beating his brother-like figure who wasn't going to listen to reason when it was something _he_ and not Lyon, had caused in the first place, with his reckless actions that made their teacher resort to Iced Shell, a spell that had cost her, her life, while also messing with Lyon's dream of surpassing her, and leaving the two boys on their own, going their separate ways.

He didn't want to beat Lyon like he was the total enemy when he had realized that _he_ had been the enemy first.

Third, he'd gotten hopeless in his fight against his father who pretended to be Deliora back in the fight with Tartaros.

He hadn't believed the trick for long, but the entire thing had been so painful and confusing. Once again he couldn't beat someone he cared so much about even if they were threatening his guild. He _couldn't_. Even though he had gotten terrifyingly close, the violence of the whole thing still haunted him. Awake or asleep.

And his father hadn't really been a real threat. He just wanted to move on and see Gray's mother again. But Gray hadn't even been able to give him even that.

So after all they'd been through Silver asked him for one other task. Although Gray wasn't sure if it had been more to help Silver move on, or if it was for Gray to move on from the past or get his new Devilslayer Magic stronger...

Gray's fists tightened.

He'd promised his dad he'd beat the fire demon END. But it was _never_ going to happen. It had turned into a complete disaster.

"Thank you." Erza said as she paid and waited for the cakes to be finished.

It took a long moment for Gray to realize Erza had been talking to him.

"Gray?" Erza started.

Gray startled and glanced up at Erza, but as he did the bakery owner placed two cakes on the counter in front of Erza.

"Here you go miss." The man said.

"Oh, thank you." Erza said as she took the cakes and led Gray out of the bakery.

"Gray?" Erza asked.

Gray looked at her just slightly.

"Yeah?" He managed not bothering to force a smile.

"Have you and Natsu been fighting again?" She asked.

Gray felt sick and guilty.

"Why do you ask?" He managed quietly.

"He looked at you funny and you winced, and you seem to be avoiding him." Erza replied thoughtfully.

Gray winced but tried to hide it from Erza.

"We're not fighting." Gray said, images of the last time Natsu had punched him popped up in his head making him wince more.

Erza gave him a suspicious look and sighed.

"Is something wrong?" Erza asked.

Gray turned away from the Requip Mage, his hands still in tight fists.

Why was all the E.N.D stuff and the Iced Shell stuff bothering him so much?

But deep down he knew why. He knew the reasons. But he couldn't tell Erza about the iced shell stuff...and everything that was bothering him right now led up to that eventually.

"Gray...? What's wrong?" Erza asked stepping closer to her friend.

"N-nothing." Gray stammered dishonesty. "I...have to go." He added quickly.

"What do you mean?" Erza asked worriedly.

"I...have some stuff to deal with at home. I'll see you tomorrow." Gray replied, as he started to walk away.

"Gray!" Erza called in protest.

Gray tried to ignore her, but she grabbed his arm tightly. Gray trembled slightly in fear of Erza, but otherwise just stood there.

"Gray...just answer me. Is something going on between you and Natsu?" Erza asked. "And why do you wince every time I say Natsu's name?" Erza added, as Gray winced again. "Gray..." Erza said quieter, her voice sounding worried. "What's wrong?"

Gray shifted his weight back and fourth on each leg, and sighed.

"I...well you saw part of it." Gray muttered bitterly.

Erza stepped closer to her younger-brother-figure. Natsu and Gray had been like her little brothers ever since they were kids, and she _would_ get to the bottom of this and help the two boys settle things. Especially since the two weren't very good at doing that themselves. She _would_ get to the bottom of this, no matter what.

"Part of what's bothering you?" Erza asked.

"Yeah..." Gray sighed shakily.

Erza tried to think back on any fights they'd had recently until the one really bad one came to mind.

She'd gone looking for the two of them and had found the two locked in a huge battle far worse than any of the fights the two boys have had against each other in the past. Natsu being affected by END, and Gray clouded by his emotions from having believed Juvia had been killed because of Invel, who he had recently beaten at that point, and had found out from Invel at the end of that fight that Natsu was the demon he had been searching for since he had promised his father he'd beat it for him. Erza suspected there was much on the subject Gray hadn't told her about.

"Gray..." Erza started. "That wasn't all your fault and I'm sure Natsu isn't-"

"It _was_ my fault. He wouldn't answer whether he was E.N.D or not, and _I_ attacked _him_." Gray interrupted shakily. "I started the whole thing." He said quietly, guilt clear in his voice.

"I doubt Natsu blames you." Erza said.

"Can I go now?" Gray demanded impatiently.

He didn't want to talk about it all. He was horrified and angry with himself for listening to what Invel had said when he found out about E.N.D. He was horrified that he had attacked Natsu like that. He had tried to kill Natsu.

Erza felt Gray's arm start trembling. She wasn't sure if it was anger or fear.

"Gray, try to calm down." Erza started.

"I tried to _kill_ him, Erza." Gray choked out.

"I don't think you would've ended up doing that even if you thought you were trying to. I'm sure you would've come to your senses eventually even if I hadn't intervened." Erza told him.

"I need some time alone. Please...please let me go home now." Gray whispered desperately.

Erza watched her friend hesitantly. Something was really bothering him and he wasn't listening to her. There had to be someone he'd listen to... But she had no idea who that could be. She was sure there was more to what was bothering Gray than what he was telling her. He still hadn't told her why he winces every time she says Natsu's name.

Erza wanted to know what was wrong and help Gray, but she could tell by the way he was begging that she had to let him go, otherwise it was only going to get worse.

"Okay..." Erza agreed quietly. "But...please come to me if I can help you. You can't keep bottling everything up like this, Gray." Erza told him. "I hope we'll see you at the guild tomorrow." She said making it clear that if he wasn't there then she was going to come to him.

Gray nodded in understanding and pulled away from her, and before she could say bye, Gray disappeared in the shadows on the other side of the street.

Erza stood there in worried silence for a good while until she started back to the guild, her excitement for her new cakes not quite as strong as before.

Natsu waited somewhat impatiently for Erza and Gray to get back. _They were taking quite a long time for just picking up cake. How many cakes was Erza buying this time? Shouldn't they be hurrying back to join in the fun again_?

Natsu sighed softly, allowing his surface thoughts to fade a bit.

He knew the real reason why he was so eager for the two to come back. It wasn't just how it was strange for the two to just leave to pick up cake; usually Erza would do that and Gray would stay here and fight with him, or at least _something_!

But Natsu had noticed that Gray was being very distant with him since they had tried to kill each other. Natsu felt a tinge of guilt rise inside him at the memory.

They'd both injured each other quite badly, but it was worse that Gray was seemingly trying to avoid him now.

 _Could it be that all this time he and Gray hadn't been as good friends as he'd thought they'd been?_

Natsu didn't usually ever question their friendship. He just knew that they were... they _had_ to be. They were guild mates, friends and rivals, they were even like _brothers_ -not that Natsu had any intention of sharing that information. As for Gray, he didn't need to hear it, the two had better ways to communicate with each other without all the complicated talking stuff. Neither Natsu nor Gray were the best with words, or at least not with anything emotional. That wasn't how their friendship worked.

Natsu frowned. Why in the world was he questioning their friendship again?

He had always been so sure, but then they had their worst fight ever, and then the stupid ice block had to go and break his promise.

Natsu could feel his fists tightening in rage.

What was taking them so _long_?

Natsu was about to lose it and run outside and go find them when he saw Erza coming in. Which was lucky because he had been about ready to smash the doors open to run outside and find her and Gray.

Natsu waited, fidgeting impatiently for a few moments as he watched Erza, waiting for Gray to appear behind her.

But he never did.

Natsu's eyes narrowed in concern as he watched Erza carrying in her strawberry cakes. Something about her didn't smell right...and where was the ice princess?

"Hey, where'd Gray go? Isn't he coming back to the party?" Happy asked flying towards the Requip Mage.

 _Great job Happy_. Natsu thought silently.

If Happy could ask all the questions for him, then he wouldn't have to worry about asking Erza himself and letting on any weird ideas like that he was worried about the snow-streaker. Which he obviously _wasn't_.

"He went home for the night..." Erza replied deep in thought.

Natsu didn't step closer but he listened more intently. Now that he thought about it, Gray had barely spoken to him all day. Sure he'd called him a Flamebrain at some point. But they hadn't fought once today and Gray always acted funny around him. He tended to wince whenever Natsu looked at him too.

Natsu was starting to get really tired of all the secrecy. _Would the freezerbrain ever learn not to bottle everything up and hide away with his acting and avoid people?_

Natsu couldn't stand it any longer.

"Why'd he go home?" Natsu asked.

Erza turned to the Dragonslayer.

"He said he had stuff to deal with at home or something like that..." Erza replied hesitantly.

"But?" Natsu asked.

"He...he seemed upset about something..." Erza answered worriedly.

 _I knew it._ Natsu thought, anger and worry rising inside him making him feel like running over and banging down Gray's door, and dragging the ice princess back to the guild to be with all his friends.

"So...you're saying he's gone home to sulk?" Natsu asked.

Erza's eyes widened.

"You think that's what he's doing?" Erza asked alarmed.

"Maybe he just needs some time alone to sort out whatever it is?" Happy suggested.

"I hope so." Erza answered.

"I could go check on him?" Happy offered.

"Come on...he's been acting funny but I'm sure he'll be back to normal tomorrow, right? Why are you so worried? Sure he's been weird today-" Natsu started trying to convince himself as well as his friends.

"It hasn't just been one day Natsu." Erza interupted.

"Then two days, whatever." Natsu shrugged. Sometimes they wanted to be so specific. It wasn't his fault if he was so busy he couldn't remember exactly how many days it had been.

"Natsu...he's been acting funny longer than that..." Happy said.

"So you've noticed too?" Erza asked.

"Aye... He's been really quiet and acts kind of funny. Especially whenever Natsu goes near him." Happy explained.

"Every time I go near him?" Natsu exclaimed. "What do you mean by that?"

Happy and Erza just sighed at their friend's somewhat obliviousness.

"I mean...I know we haven't fought much...but-" Natsu started.

"Haven't fought much? I was under the impression that there was something going on between you two, to be honest. You haven't been fighting?" Erza asked.

Natsu felt more worried by the second. Even though he told himself he wasn't worried at all.

Erza seemed to pick up on the Dragonslayer's nervousness.

"You two _did_ have a fight didn't you? What happened? Do you have any idea why he's upset?" Erza asked.

Natsu sighed in frustration.

"We haven't been fighting for _days_ or however long it's been!" Natsu exclaimed.

"It's true Erza...I haven't seen them fighting and I've been with Natsu almost constantly." Happy confirmed.

"Alright." Erza sighed. "I suppose he'll be back to his normal self once he's sorted things out...I just hope he can sort it out before he decides to avoid coming to the guild."

"Don't worry, he will." Natsu told her confidently.

Erza smiled at her younger brother-figure, feeling a lot better despite her conversation with Gray.

"I hope you're right. If he isn't, we'll head to his house tomorrow and find out." Erza said.

Natsu shuddered. _If Gray didn't sort things out he was pretty sure Erza would get pretty scary if she tried to force information out of him._ Natsu knew that wouldn't work either, and even if it did, it wouldn't work out well... If it was something serious that Gray was being secretive about, Natsu knew the ice mage wouldn't tell them... Under Erza's added stress Gray would more likely shut down and walk away if they pushed him too hard.

"Hey Erza? Natsu? Sorry if I'm interrupting...but Lucy and I were going to play. Want to play this board game with us?" Wendy Marvell called from where she and Lucy sat.

"Sure." Erza answered smiling.

Natsu hesitated, but turned to Wendy and smiled.

"Sure, as long as it's a quick game."

After a short walk around Magnolia, Gray went back to his house. He didn't bother turning the bedroom lights on as he walked inside and collapsed onto his bed.

He grabbed a book off his shelf and flipped through the pages before losing interest and putting it back on the shelf.

Things were really not working out the way he wanted them to.

Slowly, he got up and made his way into the kitchen. He wasn't really hungry, but it was dinner time and he figured he should make something anyway. Hopefully he'd feel more like eating it when he was finished making it.

Gray wandered the kitchen looking through the cupboards for something he might feel like eating.

He sighed and let the cupboard fall shut as he walked away, abandoning the idea to make some dinner.

The fact that Erza getting him to mention the fight with Natsu out loud made him feel a bit worse, despite how Erza seemed to believe Natsu wasn't holding any of it against him.

But really, that wasn't really the thing that was bothering him most. Either that or it was just because there were so many things...and he couldn't seem to find one way to just forget them and move forward like he often tried to do for things.

Erza's words from earlier echoed through his mind.

 _'But...please come to me if I can help you. You can't keep bottling everything up like this, Gray.'_

 _I can hold it all in if I want to._ Gray thought rebelliously.

But then he sighed. He'd been doing that since _Tartaros, Avatar, Alvarez..._ So many times and so much lately. In fact, he was starting to wonder if he really _knew_ what was bothering him the most.

...No...wait... He did. He did know. There was one thing, and that had to be it. The one thing that just _wouldn't_ leave him alone. Something he hadn't expected to happen at all when he'd tried to cast Lost Iced Shell on Zeref...


	2. Break In

**Blue-Eyes-B-Dragon, Shadowecreeper, Thanks so much for reading and Favoriting!**

 **Thanks so much to, Janet Mann, Manguepassion, Runay, Strawberry1314 for reading, following and favoriting this story!**

 **Thank you, Elephantinmyroom, PokeTail, laylaheart, Sweetcat1025, for reading and following!**

 **Thanks mdelphin for your nice review and for reading and following as well!**

 **So it looks like this is going to be three chapters and not four due to one of the chapters** **being too short and therefore I edited them together.**

 **Have a nice day and thanks to everyone whose reading this for reading my stories!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail, and the next Chapter is the one that would never have turned out the same way if my sister hadn't let me use two things she made up in our game to put in this. Which are the parts in the last chapter that will be the beginning of a rant which was "promise to promise," part, and the code word "drool or drooling" those two parts were made up by my sister.**

 **So thanks everyone! And I hope you have a good day!**

Chapter 2 Break In

Night had long since fallen and Natsu still lay in his bed wide awake, thinking about the things that were brought up in the guild that day.

Clearly something was bothering Gray, and it seemed everything hinted to it being something between the Freezerbrain and Natsu himself.

Natsu frowned and sat up in his hammock quietly, careful not to disturb the sleeping Exceed who lay asleep on the hammock with him.

Natsu just managed to climb out of his hammock bed, when Happy began to stir.

Quickly Natsu petted him gently, and Happy seemed to fall back to sleep, leaving Natsu to sigh in relief.

So technically, he didn't really mind telling his companion what he was doing. But considering how tricky it was going to be, Natsu had a feeling it would be easier to do it alone, especially if he was to end up messing it up. Or simply for the fact that-

As Natsu crept away from the hammock he suddenly tripped over something hard and metal, nearly falling to the floor. But Natsu regained his balance and used fire on his fist to see what he had tripped on.

 _Oops_... Natsu thought to himself glancing down at a dirty food covered frying pan he'd forgotten to wash and put away from dinner.

But wait... Natsu and Happy had eaten at the guild today, hadn't they?

 _Oh well_... Natsu thought. _It was from dinner. Maybe not_ tonight's _dinner...but another nights dinner._

Natsu was about to sigh in relief that the noise hadn't woke Happy, when a familiar voice spoke from behind him.

"Natsu...?" Happy whispered sleepily.

"Yeah pal?" Natsu asked quietly after a moment.

"What're you doing Natsu...?" Happy asked tiredly.

"I've got something I have to do." Natsu replied. "Didn't mean to wake ya." He added apologetically.

"Where are you going? It's the middle of the night!" Happy asked sleepily.

"Well..." Natsu started, trying to think of a way to put it that wouldn't sound awkward or stupid. "Well you see...I'm going to go...uh...fix...or...not that...uh..." Natsu stammered trying to figure out a good way to word it.

"Are you heading over to Lucy's without me?" Happy asked his eyes widening sadly as if he were being betrayed.

"No! Now way! Of course not! I'd never leave you behind!" Natsu exclaimed. "I was just going to...do something...that really needs to be done." Natsu finished smiling at his companion.

"Oh..." Happy said quietly. "Where are you going?" Happy asked.

Natsu sighed. Looks like he had to explain himself to Happy. He didn't really have a choice.

"I'm going to Gray's." Natsu admitted.

"Did Erza say you had to? I thought she said we'd all be going tomorrow if he doesn't show up at the guild...but I suppose she might've told you to go since it's got something to do with you, at least judging by how Gray's been acting..." Happy asked.

"Well...no." Natsu replied awkwardly. "This is just a rare occasion I suppose..." He added.

Happy's eyes widened and he looked more awake now.

"So you're going to settle things with Gray?" Happy asked.

"I'm going to find out what's going on and then make that Freezerbrain behave like he normally does." Natsu confirmed.

"Oh...!" Happy said in realization.

"Huh?" Natsu muttered in confusion. "What is it, Happy?"

"So that's why you were so confident when you said Gray would show up at the guild and he'd sort it all out and be fine." Happy realized.

"Huh? Happy..." Natsu said, slightly irritated that Happy could figure out his plans so well.

"So you're going to go find out what's wrong and make sure it gets sorted out before tomorrow when we all go to the guild?" Happy asked.

Natsu smiled.

"Exactly." He confirmed happily. "I'm not going to let him go off sulking and making Erza worry."

Happy smiled back, as best as a cat could smile.

"Need any help?" Happy asked.

"Not sure. I wouldn't want to keep you up dragging you around places at night.. Plus I don't know how long I'll be, because...well...you know how Gray is sometimes." Natsu replied.

"You already woke me up." Happy pointed out.

"Yeah...sorry about that." Natsu answered slightly guiltily.

"So can I come?" Happy asked growing slightly impatient.

"Do you really wanna come?" Natsu asked.

" _Natsuuuu_!" The blue Exceed exclaimed in annoyance. "Yes, I wanna come. Maybe I can help Gray too. After all, he's my friend too." Happy answered.

"Okay then. Let's go." Natsu said, then startled slight as he realized an error. "But you know Happy...Gray and me are kind of more rivals than friends...right?" Natsu asked quietly, some of his doubts slightly showing at the hint to his worries.

"What?" Happy asked accidentally not hearing the Dragonslayer's words.

"Never mind." Natsu answered quickly, realizing he didn't want to go there.

"Okay." Happy nodded.

The two had closed the door behind them and had been walking through the forest for awhile until they finally reached the end of the forest.

Then Natsu turned to the direction he always went to get to the guild.

"Uh, Natsu?" Happy started.

"Yeah Happy?" Natsu replied.

"You don't remember how to get to Gray's house do you? 'Cause you're going the wrong way..." Happy answered.

"Uh...oh...oops." Natsu muttered, turning to go the other way.

"That's not the right way either." Happy said.

"It's not?" Natsu asked.

Happy shook his head no, clearly looking tired and annoyed.

"Don't worry Happy, I'll just sniff him out." Natsu said brightly.

"But why can't you remember where Gray's house is?" The blue cat asked.

"Uh...maybe...probably because I always just sniff him out if I want to fight with him or something!" Natsu exclaimed with a toothy smile. "It's probably just been awhile."

"Oh...right...and I thought you just followed me without paying attention. At least whenever we head to his house." Happy said. "You know... _Gray_ knows how to get to _your_ house on his own." Happy pointed out.

" _Oh yeah?_ Well..." Natsu started in frustration. "That's just him being weird. Just look at his clothes finding skills! They totally suck! He clearly can never find his shirt! Sometimes his pants too! But his shirt is pretty much _always_ missing!" Natsu argued rather loudly.

"Hey! Would you keep it down, down there! People are trying to sleep!" A man called down from his upstairs window.

"Uh...yeah?" Natsu called back in slight confusion.

Surely he hadn't been _that_ loud.

"We're sorry mister!" Happy called to the man, who simply slammed down his window again.

Happy sighed and shrugged at Natsu.

With his powerful Dragon hearing Natsu could hear the man muttering complaints about noisy kids or brats...

"This way to Gray's place, Natsu." Happy directed quietly.

"Really, I can just smell him out." Natsu insisted.

Gray sighed in frustration as he rolled over in bed. His mind was so busy and he couldn't get the memories out of his head.

Gray shoved his face into the pillow. Would he ever be able to sleep properly? Sure there were times he slept really well, nowhere near as well as he once did back when he was a little kid growing up in Isvan with his parents...before Deliora ruined everything. Sometimes it felt like an entirely different life, with a very different person. But Gray didn't really care about worrying how much he'd been changed and messed up after that.

He was too angry and disturbed with himself for all the things he'd done. Making so many problems that other people had to fix.

Gray shook his head, sitting up in bed, willing the guilt-filled memories away hoping they didn't reemerge as uncontrollable flashbacks.

Taking a deep breath, Gray let it out in a sigh as he let himself fall back onto his pillow.

He didn't realize how long he'd been trying to sleep, but he was getting extremely tired, despite how he ridiculously _still_ couldn't get to sleep.

Slowly his breathing became more even and he closed his eyes. His mind turned more into random memories rather than clear thoughts of memories.

First he thought about everyone at the guild, probably all fast asleep in their homes, unless their celebrating had lasted way longer than he imagined.

Second his guilty memories resurfaced again, and he thought of Erza...and then of Natsu. He felt guilt rise more inside him, and part of him couldn't help but wonder what the Dragonslayer was doing. Most likely sleeping...but then, he couldn't help but wonder if Natsu was still worried about their friendship like he'd revealed to him when he'd been upset that Gray had tried to use Lost Iced Shell.

Gray tightened his fists as he felt guilt and regret and all sorts of heartache rise inside him again.

He squeezed the bedsheets tightly, his consciousness fading into sleep.

But before sleep took him, he thought of all the people that would always come to his mind before sleep.

Mostly the guild at first, but as the list went by it went through everyone that he'd lost as well...ending with his master Ur.

"So..." Natsu muttered as he and Happy stood outside Gray's house. "Front door or window?" Natsu asked the blue cat.

"Well knocking would be more polite but I doubt he's awake...I mean...it's pretty late..." Happy replied hesitantly.

Happy flew forward and tried to turn the door knob.

It was locked.

Happy turned to Natsu and shrugged, but the Dragonslayer didn't seem to be paying attention to the Exceed.

"Natsu?" Happy asked. "What-"

-"Shh!" Natsu hushed quietly but firmly.

"What's wrong...?" Happy whispered.

Natsu didn't answer; instead he leaned closer pressing his ear to the door listing carefully with his powerful dragon hearing.

"Let's take the window." Natsu said suddenly; his voice strangely urgent sounding.

"Aye sir!" Happy replied, picking up the Dragonslayer and flying them up and through a window and into Gray's house.

Natsu slid open the window, and the two climbed inside. Natsu stumbled as he stepped on Gray's discarded pants with the belt still attached through the loops, but managed to catch his balance before falling.

Happy hid a silent laugh. Natsu glanced at his companion with confusion.

"How many times are you going to trip on things?" Happy asked whispering softly. "Why not turn on a light or use your fire?"

"Because! We're being like Ninjas. Ninjas don't turn the lights on when they're sneaking on their missions. That'll give us away Happy." Natsu explained in a hushed voice.

"Uh...Natsu? I made sure to get us into a different room and not right away into his bedroom." Happy informed him.

"Why?" Natsu asked.

"Because we're tired and need to make sure we don't wake him unless your plan was to wake him up if he's not already awake..." Happy replied.

"Alright, nice job pal." Natsu nodded, pulling his scarf around his head to look like a ninja.

The two walked quietly through the house as Natsu led the way to where Gray's bed was; beside a window with a shelf with some books and random items on it.

"I think he's asleep." Happy whispered as they reached Gray's room.

As if saying that it changes nothing, Natsu continued into the room, with Happy following closely behind him, somewhat hesitantly.

"You sure we shouldn't just wait till morning? He's definitely sleeping and he won't be very happy if we wake him up." Happy warned.

Natsu looked at the Exceed and shrugged.

Suddenly Natsu was sure he heard Gray say something under his breath.

"What are you-"? Happy started.

"Shh!" Natsu hushed quietly as he listened carefully.

A few confusing moments passed for the flying blue cat. But he remained quiet as he watched his friend stand very still and silently, looking very serious.

Natsu appeared to possibly be listening for something somewhere, but Happy wasn't completely sure what that was, or even where, since Natsu's fire dragon Slayer magic also gave him incredibly enhanced ability to hear and smell.

Gray whimpered softly in his sleep. Happy quietly landed onto the end of the bed, and glanced at the sleeping ice mage.

"Maybe he's having a bad dream?" Happy suggested. "Should we wake him?" Happy suggested as Gray shifted in bed as he whimpered softly. "He'd be pretty angry if we do that though." Happy added quickly.

"That's true..." Natsu replied distractedly, as he listened carefully to hear if Gray said anything other than whimpering.

Natsu frowned. _Gray_ didn't _whimper_. This wasn't like him and it only proved something was definitely _wrong_.

Suddenly Gray made another sound that caught Natsu's attention and he listened as carefully as he could so he would know exactly what Gray was dreaming about or at least something more than what he knew from Erza and Happy and his own experiences recently.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Gray whimpered desperately under his breath as he shifted in bed uncomfortably.

"Gray?" Happy whispered.

"That's it." Natsu said suddenly his expression determined and his voice final. Any kind of guilt that was strong enough to make Gray apologize so desperately had to be a bad sign, even if it was in the ice mange's dreams or nightmares.

"So you're going to wake him?" Happy said but trailed off as Natsu moved closer to the sleeping ice mage and punched him on the shoulder.

Gray flinched in his sleep slightly and Natsu frowned.

"Get up ice princess." Natsu hissed as he tried to shake Gray's shoulders to wake him.

Gray groaned slightly and Natsu shoved him hard, accidentally sending the two boys off the bed and crashing loudly to the floor.

Gray cried out as he crashed to the floor somewhat painfully, as he landed on his face.

Natsu winced at the result of his mistake but shrugged it off as he got up to his feet, ignoring Happy's quiet 'uh oh's.'

Gray trembled slightly as he pushed himself onto all fours. Had his nightmares really gone back to being so bad that he'd fallen out of bed _again_? Gray shook his head squeezing his eyes shut tightly, allowing the nightmares to resurface in his mind, before quickly shaking his head in an attempt to make the images disappear.

That hadn't been a bright idea.

"Gray?" Happy whispered hesitantly with concern. "Are you okay?"

It took Gray a moment to calm his rapid breathing and figure out why he heard Happy when he was sure he was in his own house.

"Yeah..." Gray managed as he tried to stop his body from shaking.

The ice mage lifted his head to look at Happy, only to see the exceed sitting on his bed looking worried.

"What're you doing...?" Gray muttered sounding tired and almost monotone.

"Well...it's kind of a long story...but _Gray_...are you okay?" Happy replied worriedly.

Gray opened his mouth to say something, but a louder voice interrupted him, making him startle.

"So, you ready to get up off the floor and tell us what in the world is making you act weird and giving you nightmares and worrying Erza?" A loud yet strangely serious sounding voice asked.

Gray's form startled but otherwise remained still. Happy saw that once again, Gray winced.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Ice princess?" Natsu offered awkwardly.

"What...what are you two doing?" Gray demanded, the strange almost tired and choked up sound disappearing and leaving slight anger in its place. "You can't just break in, in the middle of the night-" Gray started angrily.

"Did you miss the part where you upset Erza?" Natsu demanded.

Gray fell silent.

Happy glanced between the two mages; Gray remained silent and strangely shaky looking, and Natsu had this determination in his eyes, and Happy was sure that when Natsu was telling Gray he'd upset Erza, that he was also referring to _himself_ as well, only in a way that no one knew. Because no way would he be worried for the snow-runner.

Or at least that's what Natsu thought, because Happy had known them long enough to see through at least Natsu's behaviour.

Happy sighed quietly, hoping that the two would be able to sort things out and that this wouldn't end in a huge fight between the two boys.

"So...?" Natsu asked impatiently. "I asked if you're ready to get up off the floor and tell us what's going on. So get up." Natsu told him.

Gray let out a shaky sigh, and Natsu's eyes widened when he noticed that Gray was still trembling, clearly trying to hide it and pull himself together, but not doing a very good job at it tonight.

Natsu hesitantly outstretched a hand towards the ice mage. But Gray still didn't look up at the dragon slayer.

"Gray...?" Natsu said hesitantly. "Get up." He challenged after a moment as he watched Gray sitting quietly on the floor, where he would slightly tremble once in awhile that made Natsu feel more concerned.

Happy started closer to Gray, putting a paw on the ice mage's knee, it seemed to snap the ice mage out of the strange trance or whatever it had been that he was in, and he glance briefly at Happy before petting him, and then standing up on his own only catching a glimpse of Natsu's outstretched hand. But he flinched startling slightly, and pushed passed his rival and headed downstairs tiredly.

"Hey!" Natsu protested as he scampered after Gray.

"Go away..." Gray dismissed sleepily.

"Where are you _going_?" Natsu asked pushing in front of Gray as they reached downstairs.

"Nowhere..." Gray replied in frustration.

Natsu felt his anger at Gray's stubbornness flare up and he grabbed Gray's arm.

"You _can't_ just _run away_ from the guild when you're upset! You realize you upset _Erza_ by making her _worried_? You can't just-" Natsu started but Gray swiftly pushed passed him and slipped out the front door.

"Come on Happy!" Natsu shouted as he ran out the door after the ice mage.

Natsu ran out the door of the house, breaking into a run to chase after Gray.

 _No way was he going to get away and not let them find out and fix whatever was wrong._

"Hurry Happy!" Natsu called, unsure as to whether the blue cat was flying behind him or not.

"I had to close the door!" Happy called from further back.

"Alright then!" Natsu replied.

Natsu quickly glanced around for Gray. He didn't see him anymore, but he could totally smell him.

Hurriedly he followed Gray's scent trying to avoid all the weird directions the scent kept leading them. _Clearly Gray wasn't going to make this easy._

"Natsu!" Happy shouted.

Natsu mind raced with all sorts of different thoughts. No way was Gray going to get away without letting his friends learn what was wrong so that they could help fix things.

A pang of worry shot through the fire mage's stomach.

What if with all Gray's strange looks and avoidance that was all mostly seeming to be in some way because of Natsu...was the ice mage trying to give him a message?

 _Does he not want to be friends anymore?_ Natsu wondered fearfully, but clenched his fists in determination. _Our friendship is_ not _over and the ice block is going to tell me what's wrong and we_ will _find a way to fix it!_

Natsu paused, hearing Happy's voice and to catch his breath.

"What's up Happy?" Natsu asked, shivering slightly at the cold nighttime breeze.

"Maybe we should wait til morning like Erza said..." Happy said shivering slightly. "I don't think he wants to talk right now."

"We can't give up and leave him out here." Natsu argued stubbornly.

Happy smirked mischievously and opened his mouth to say something.

"If we leave him out here then it would be giving up and letting him win and he'd get his way." Natsu added quickly, despite knowing that Happy was fully aware that he and Gray were friends and not just two guild mates who could never get along and acted like they hated each other.

Natsu tried to push away the doubts that seeped back into his mind about his and Gray's complicated friendship.

"Come here." Natsu said to the feline, gesturing for the blue cat to climb into his vest, in which Natsu wrapped Happy in, snuggling safely against his chest.

"It's kind of cold out, but you're always so warm..." Happy said purring slightly as he hugged his friend tightly.

Natsu nodded and continued after the tricky ice mage.

As tricky Gray had been with taking weird routes, the ice mage had to be extremely tired since he hadn't tried to trick Natsu with any kind of attempts to mess up his scent, or lay out any kind of traps. But then again, was he really wanting to keep everything secret that bad?

Natsu ran clutching Happy as he followed the ice mage's scent, until he caught up and found him.

Gray was hiking down the hill, the same hill Natsu and Gray had always fought on when they were younger, when they'd been sent out of the guildhall for their destructive little fights.

Natsu watched quietly as Gray continued down the hill, heading down towards the river.

Natsu shook his head and slowly started to make his way down after the ice prick, despite having no idea what he could do or say to fix whatever was going on.


	3. The Things They Needed To Say

**Thanks so so much to everyone reading this! Thanks for all the favourites and follows and the really nice reviews.** **This is the final chapter for this one. I hope you all enjoy it!**

 **So the "Promise to promise" part of one of the rants and the code word "drooling" were made up by my sister and she let me use them, as I mentioned in the first chapter.**

 **Thanks for reading and have a nice day!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or Gray or Natsu or Happy.**

Chapter 3 The Things They Needed To Say

When Gray reached the bottom of the hill he found himself standing by the water. He stared out at it blankly, before he dropped roughly to the ground in front of it. He sighed, and reached his hand down into the water, moving it gently, just slightly.

Ever since the events Galuna island, the water would always remind him of _her_.

Gray trembled slightly and clasped his hands together as he felt a single tear escape, and fall down his face until it fell into the water, making tiny ripples.

Natsu slowly approached the ice mage, unsure as to how he should do this.

Should he act as casual as he could and just try to get him to talk? Or should he see if Gray needed a fight to let it all out and or just try to get him to talk?

Surely this would be a quick fix just as soon as he figured out what was wrong.

Natsu was just about to casually offer a fight; that way, Gray wouldn't have to, but if he wanted or needed to then he'd be able to, but could also easily back down without it looking too bad, but Natsu stopped short when he saw the ice mage's dry hand go up to his face and move across where his eyes should be, had Gray been facing Natsu.

Natsu felt his worry increase at the odd movement that he had only two ideas of what Gray could've been doing...

Perhaps he was wrong and it hadn't been crying, and maybe Gray just had a cold and...

Natsu shook his head. _No, that was gross, and didn't really sound right. Gray hadn't seemed sick today._

Natsu decided to temporarily drop the fight option. _This wasn't a problem that a fight could fix...yet, at least._

He decided he'd just have act casual and try to get what he could out of the secretive freezerbrain.

"Yo!" Natsu called slightly hesitantly as continued his approach.

Gray's form seemed to startle, and he became much more stiff looking. But he didn't speak, not even to say go away again. So even though he wasn't sure what to do, he knew it wouldn't be that.

"Found ya." Natsu said quickly as he stood beside Gray.

He wanted to lean forward and see what Gray's expression was like but he forced himself to be patient.

"I bet you like this cold nighttime weather huh?" Natsu asked conversationally.

"Drop the act. We both know why you're here." Gray muttered quietly.

"I ain't acting." Natsu argued crossing his arms. "I'm being friendly. That's more than I can say for _you_."

Gray frowned slightly, but didn't move.

"You're somewhat acting. I do it all the time, don't think I don't notice when others try to hide things." Gray said, pulling his hand out of the water and drying it on his pant leg.

"Ah _ha_! So you _admit_ it!" Natsu exclaimed in triumph.

Gray fell silent and lowered his head, his hand automatically reaching back into the ice cold water.

Natsu narrowed his eyes, and stepped slightly closer.

"Gray?" Natsu said slowly.

"What." Gray said monotonously.

"Uh...are you...y'know, okay?" Natsu asked awkwardly.

Gray remained silent for a moment.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked, but Natsu immediately started as Gray barely finished the sentence.

" _Why wouldn't you be?_ Did you hear anything I said when we were back at your house? You've been avoiding people a bit, you act funny around me, and not to mention you're having _nightmares_. Just _how_ much can you keep secret and all to yourself when you're making your _friends_ _worry_?" Natsu asked.

Gray stared up at Natsu for a moment but turned away.

"Gray!" Natsu exclaimed losing his patience.

Gray tensed up slightly but otherwise didn't move. Natsu fell silent.

"Gray?" Natsu started quietly, taking a few steps closer to the ice mage.

"What do you expect me to _do_ then?" Gray choked out half angry half hurt sounding.

"Tell us what's wrong." Natsu said evenly. "No one can help you if you don't give them a chance."

"I don't need anyone's help." Gray protested bitterly. "It's not their problem."

"Sure it is!" Natsu said anger rising inside him. "It _is_ when you're clearly not happy and totally upset about something and making everyone _worry_ because they're your friends and they all care and want to help you! Fairy Tail is always there to help each other!" Natsu exclaimed.

"Clearly not happy? Fine I'll just have to up my acting a bit." Gray responded his voice full of heavy bitter sarcasm.

"You still don't get it!" Natsu exclaimed in frustration. "Your friends..." Natsu started as he swung a punch at the other.

Gray scrambled to his feet as he attempted to dodge and block Natsu's attacks.

Natsu threw another kick and three more punches before he continued speaking.

"Care about you." He said between attacks. "And..."

Gray punch forwards knocking the Dragonslayer back a few steps, but neither slowed down.

"They don't want you to be upset! That's..." Natsu attempted as he shoved Gray backwards.

"That's why they're worried." Gray finished for him as he got up from where he'd fallen, his face still downcast with his eyes mostly covered by his jet black bangs.

Natsu halted in his attack, and gaped at his rival.

"And I've been a complete jerk for entirely disregarding that part while I was too focused on protecting them." Gray said as he turned to face the ocean once again.

Natsu, eyes wide at the sudden open conversation, stepped closer to the ice mage until they were looking out at the sea standing side by side.

Gray kept his gaze fixed on the dark water in front of them. He could tell that Natsu was bothered by more than just their friends being worried. Gray knew since he'd tried to use Lost Iced Shell that perhaps something was off with their friendship. He'd acted like a jerk so many times and kept so much to himself whenever anything was wrong and disregarded any of his friends' concerns when it came to his own problems, just feeding them his 'I'm fines' and all those little half lies.

He still didn't want to share everything with them, or Natsu in this case. But he knew Natsu had been acting a little off, like watching Gray somewhat suspiciously with strange looks, since the Lost Iced Shell incident, and he knew it was his fault that Natsu had ever even questioned their friendship at all in the first place. It was his fault.

And he had to fix it.

Even though he hated talking about feelings or things like that so openly. It wouldn't be easy. But he knew he had to fix his mistakes. Or at least the ones he _could_ fix.

"Protecting...?" Natsu asked slowly, as he gently stroked Happy who had been sitting in the grass since the two had started their fist fight.

Gray let out a heavy sigh. Natsu fidgeted slightly as he awaited a reply.

Gray seemed to fidget just as much, if not more so as he tried to collect his thoughts.

"Why're you upset?" Natsu asked once more, the question feeling odd in his mouth while he stood next to his rival.

"Bits of..." Gray started, but stopped as he sounded all choked up.

He _wouldn't_ lose it. Not now.

"A whole bunch of stuff." He finished turning his gaze from the water up to the starry night sky.

There was an awkward silence between the two, as they both tried to figure out what to say.

Emotional conversations were really not their thing. But they both had things that were bothering them, things that needed to be said, so despite their terrible conversation skills, they couldn't back out of it now. Neither would allow it and neither would give up. It had become a challenge and neither would stop until they'd accomplished their goal.

"What stuff?" Natsu pressed.

"E-everything." Gray stammered, suddenly feeling nervous.

Natsu punched him on the arm, a punch that Gray deciphered as Natsu telling him impatiently to explain more so that he could understand.

Had Gray not been feeling so down at the moment, he'd probably call him a dummy or something, but instead he sighed and then continued as best as he could. Natsu would _not_ win this weird conversation thing, Gray was going to give Natsu his answer, the answer that Gray knew he owed the dragonslayer.

' _Gray? We're friends aren't we?'_

Gray could remember Natsu's desperate words, but he'd been too distracted by the fire mage's tears and the whole situation, to answer him. And since then, Gray just hadn't found a good time to try to answer. But whether now was the right time or not, Gray knew he had to give Natsu his answer. He'd caused Natsu to doubt their apparently uncertain seeming friendship, and he had to either confirm their friendship, or tell him what he'd often told himself; that they _weren't_ friends.

But Gray only did that on rare occasions, and hardly ever anymore. Usually it was just when Natsu was being a stupid reckless hot-head, getting himself into problems that could get him killed...and Gray had, had enough of losing people he cared about. He was fed up and sick of it happening. Sometimes he feared Natsu would get himself killed and he'd lose another important friend. He didn't want that.

Which was pretty much the main reason he'd tried to use Iced Shell to defeat Zeref in the first place. It was a way he could stop Zeref from hurting his friends without it killing Natsu, even though he had also been blinded by his emotions that he had been holding in for too long. But at least Lucy had found another way after Natsu had stopped Gray yet again from trying to use the spell that would've cost his life.

"Natsu..." Gray said quietly, to the dragonslayer who had been whispering to Happy.

"Are you just upset over lots of nightmares?" Happy asked Gray.

Gray shrugged and shook his head side to side.

Frowning slightly, Natsu turned back to Gray, determination shining in the fire mage's eyes.

Gray stared back slowly, finally for the first time in days, he looked directly into Natsu's eyes, but kept his gaze barely readable.

"Well...?" Natsu asked, though he considered maybe asking Gray about whether they were friends; because what if Gray wouldn't tell him anything because they weren't friends anymore? Or maybe Gray didn't think they were friends or-

-"Natsu." Gray said suddenly, snapping Natsu out of his worrisome-thoughts.

"Yeah Freezerbrain?" Natsu asked.

Gray rolled his eyes, and then glanced back up at the sky and then out to the water.

"I...I'm sorry." He said evenly.

"For what?" Natsu asked, trying to remember what Gray had done this time, then he wondered why Gray would even apologize to him for any of their problems they got into with each other. They never apologized unless absolutely necessary or if Erza had forced them to. Something was definitely wrong for Gray to apologize in such a way.

Gray took a deep breath and let it out, paced slightly for a moment and looked back at Natsu.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer you. You know...that time when we were with Zeref."

It had been so hard to force out for some reason, and Gray knew it wasn't over yet, he still needed to answer that question...but he still wasn't sure why it was bothering him so much. So much that he needed to fix it. Gray blamed it on Natsu's babyish crying. Despite the fact that Gray had found it more alarming and shocking, _scary_ almost. And honestly not babyish at all. In fact he felt horribly guilty for causing such an unusual thing to happen. Never had he expected Natsu to cry over him in that way...

"What...?" Natsu asked in alarm, a lump of fear suddenly settling in his stomach. Maybe he'd been not too concerned about the situation, but just enough, or maybe not even enough.

"When...when you asked if we were still friends-" Gray started, but he was interrupted by a fist hitting him in the face.

" _What was that for_?" Gray demanded, looking up at the angry looking dragonslayer.

"First of all, is this what's been bothering you? _Just_ what? That you didn't answer me?" Natsu demanded angrily. "Damn it...you never learn." Natsu hissed as he remembered the events that took place there. He was clearly not satisfied with Gray's apology.

"Natsu, don't get into that again. This isn't about Iced-" Gray was interrupted yet again by Natsu's fist flying down and hitting him on the head.

"Don't ever say that!" Natsu snapped. "You promised to never use that _damn spell_ and you _broke your promise_ and _tried_ to anyway!

Gray opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't get any sound out. _So this was what had been bothering Natsu these past few days._

"You're not allowed to even _think_ about that spell! No _saying_ it or _thinking_ of it! You _promised_ you'd _never_ try to use it again and you broke your promise! _Why_ can't I get through to you?" Natsu yelled desperately, tiny flames flickering at his clenched fingertips.

Gray flinched at seeing Natsu so freaked out. That anger he was venting...it was coming from _fear_.

" _How could you try to do that_?" Natsu asked desperately.

"I was trying to defeat Zeref in a way that wouldn't kill you with him!" Gray shouted back finally finding his voice.

"So what! You think they'd miss me more than they'd miss _you_? What makes it okay to go and try to off yourself like that, when you _promised_ me you _wouldn't_ and even _worse_ you thought it would _help_? You need to stop bottling everything up and letting it out with your stupid sacrificial stunts!" Natsu vented throwing another fist at Gray, who dodged it but got hit with another and stumbled back.

Gray hesitated for a moment, making Natsu grasp the chain of Gray's necklace, since there wasn't a shirt to grasp. Gray could feel Natsu's whole body trembling.

Gray winced and lowered his head.

"Technically Lost Iced Shell would've made it so none of you could be sad or miss me. None of you would've remembered me." Gray informed him.

Natsu was clearly ungrateful for the information as he punched Gray again.

"That makes it even _worse_!" He roared, his eyes becoming glassy from unshed tears.

"I'm sorry." Gray choked out, upon seeing the dragonslayer distress.

"Sorry for _what_? Not _answering_ me? You _should_ be sorry for trying to cast that _damn spell_ again! _You_ of all people should know what it feels like... _how could you_? Why would you keep doing this! I told you I didn't want you to die! Why can't I get through to you?" Natsu shouted, then he slipped down to his knees dragging Gray down with him as he tried to catch his breath.

Gray felt tears stinging the corner of his eyes, but he wouldn't let them fall.

"Natsu..." He whispered. "I..."

"Don't say _anything_ unless it's the _truth_." Natsu snapped. "You can't keep _pretending_ you're _okay_ if you're _not_!"

Gray fell silent and thought it over for a moment, but he was mostly focussed on Natsu.

"I'm sorry." Gray whispered. "I'm sorry."

Recognizing the words and the way Gray said it, made Happy wonder if Gray had been dreaming about whatever this was that had happened. He wondered whether he should let the two sort it out alone...but he didn't want to interrupt.

"I'm sorry I let my emotions blind me. I'm sorry I tried to cast Iced Shell again." Gray apologized, desperately wanting Natsu to stop being so sad and afraid, and it was worse knowing that _he'd_ caused this.

Natsu punched Gray in the face, causing him to fall back into the dirt.

"Don't say that!" Natsu exclaimed. "You're not allowed to _say it_ , or _think of it_ , or _dream about it,_ or _especially use it!_ You're _never_ allowed to use that spell!" Natsu declared, tightening his grip on Gray's necklace. " _Never_."

Gray remained silent. Natsu punched him again.

" _Ow_!" Gray cried out.

"You're not allowed to think of it!" Natsu exclaimed desperately.

"Think of...Iced Shell?" Gray guessed, getting worried at the long list of don'ts the other was spitting out so fast that he wasn't sure he could keep up.

Natsu punched Gray in the face again.

"Don't say it!" Natsu shouted angrily.

"Okay, I won't! Just...calm down or _something_!" Gray exclaimed.

Natsu seemed to try to relax as his breathing started to calm down, and his shaking lessened slightly.

Gray sighed slightly in relief but then Natsu glanced up staring at him determinedly, but there was still a hint of fear in his eyes.

"Promise to _never_ try to use that spell again!" Natsu demanded.

"But...you won't believe me even if I do." Gray pointed out, seeing that Natsu clearly hadn't been trusting him since he'd broken that promise.

"Promise to never use Iced Shell or think about using it or dream about it or think about it! _Promise_ to promise that you'll _never_ try to do it again!" Natsu demanded.

Gray blinked, staring at the dragonslayer.

"What...?" He asked.

" _Promise_ to promise that you're _never_ going to try to use that spell again! Or _think_ about it or _dream_ about it!" Natsu repeated.

"But...but I can't control what I dream about...!" Gray exclaimed.

"Promise!" Natsu shouted, pulling on Gray's necklace.

"But I cant always control my thoughts either!" Gray exclaimed.

" _Promise_!" Natsu demanded again.

" _Fine_! Listen to me!" Gray shouted back.

Natsu looked at Gray unconvinced. He looked as much of an emotional mess as Gray felt, if not more so.

"I have no idea what these big rants you keep spouting out are, but listen..." Gray started as he considered his words carefully. "I promise I'll never try to use Iced Shell again."

"You already made that promise." Natsu growled.

Gray winced and glanced away.

"I...promise I won't break it this time." Gray told him, slightly guiltily.

Natsu stared at him still unconvinced. "Promise never to try to use it again." He repeated, still sounding distressed.

"What if there comes a situation where it's really needed?" Gray asked in frustration, instantly earning another punch in the face from Natsu.

"Promise to promise that you're never going to try to use that spell again! Or think about it or dream about it _ever_ again!" Natsu exclaimed fiercely.

Gray felt his heart ache at the pain and fear that were hidden just beneath Natsu's anger, and he sighed.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I promise I won't try to use Iced-er...that spell ever again. I promise." Gray agreed.

"Promise to _never_ break that promise?" Natsu pressed.

Gray sighed in frustration at the request, but he knew he'd caused this.

"Yes." Gray promised.

And it was up to him to fix it.

"And promise not to _ever_ _break_ that promise?" Natsu pressed again.

"Yes, Flamebrain!" Gray replied in annoyance. _How long was this going to go on?_

"And promise to promise to-" Natsu started.

"I'm sorry okay! I _wasn't_ trying to _hurt you guys_ , I was trying to _save you!_ I let my emotions control me and I won't do it again! I'm _sorry_! Just...stop trembling and begging! Sorry! I'm _sorry_..." Gray exclaimed desperately.

Gray's body seemed to sway, and he slowly slipped down lower to the ground in exhaustion.

Natsu's eyes widened as he remembered how late it was and that Gray had come out here after waking from a nightmare, and he felt himself starting to calm down a bit.

He knew he had to try to trust Gray again, but he still couldn't get the fear out of his being, that last attempt had been _too_ close. Gray had tried this before and now _again_ , and _nothing_ seemed to get through to him. But he knew he'd have to learn to trust him again, until then he'd just have to be cautious.

"I'm sorry..." Gray whispered.

"Stop it." Natsu said after a moment. "Stop."

Gray didn't move or glance up at the dragonslayer.

"Stop saying sorry." Natsu clarified.

"Sorry." Gray apologized automatically, by accident.

Natsu tried to punch him again, causing Gray to realize his error, but unfortunately also causing him to accidentally say sorry again.

"Stop it!" Natsu protested.

Gray finally managed to stop himself and he remained silent instead of apologizing again.

" _You weren'_ t exactly sounding like _yourself_ either." Gray said quietly. "And you've seriously gotta stop punching me for speaking, cuz you know I'm going to have to catch up and get more hits in than you." Gray said tiredly.

"I guess." Natsu muttered not really paying attention.

The two remained silent for a moment, until Natsu noticed Gray tremble slightly.

"What is it?" Natsu asked. "Surely you're not cold. You can't even get cold at all with that Devil Slayer stuff..."

After getting no response Natsu glanced slightly at Gray.

"You remember your promise still?" Natsu asked, just to be sure.

"Course." Gray muttered quietly, his voice tinged with guilt.

" _You_ realize how _close_ you were to _succeeding_ that time?" Natsu asked, his anger rising again. "I could've arrived too late-" Natsu started, his emotions hitting him hard as he tried to get himself convinced that Gray wouldn't try to do that again.

"If you'd arrived too late you wouldn't have even remembered me." Gray reminded him but quickly continued. "But you _did_ stop me. I ain't gone and I'm _not_ gonna try it again. It just seemed like the right option at the time."

" _Right option?_ _You stupid self sacrificing ice idiot!_ You almost made the same stupid mistake trying to use that damn spell _twice_! No...! _Three times now!_ Twice on Galuna and _now this!_ " Natsu exclaimed.

"Guess that makes like four..." Gray mumbled, remembering when he'd considered the spell when he was fighting against his father in the war against Tartaros.

" _What_?" Natsu shouted, as he shoved Gray into the dirt.

"You're not allowed to ever try anything like that again! You _could've_ succeeded, and it would've been a _horrible_ mistake! _Listen_ to me for once!" Natsu yelled at Gray who still lay on his back.

Slowly Gray pushed himself up. He felt anger rise inside him as he sat up.

"Are you saying that using Iced Shell to _protect_ someone is _wrong_? That it's a _mistake_?" Gray's voice was cold and angry.

"Of course! We don't want you to die! It's not a win if you go and off yourself like that!" Natsu hissed.

Gray swung a punch and knocked the dragonslayer back. Then Gray collapsed tiredly to his knees, fighting the tears that he could barely contain anymore at this point.

Natsu got to his feet, and walked towards the ice mage, who oddly seemed to be trembling.

"Gray?" Natsu asked letting his anger subside, turning into concern.

Gray rose to his feet, not looking Natsu in the eyes.

"So you're saying..." Gray started, his voice all choked up sounding.

Natsu's eyes widened as the ice mage lifted his head, and Natsu say Gray's eyes were glassy and a few tears were running down his face.

"That using Iced Shell to protect someone was a _mistake_." Gray said coldly yet also sounded like he was crying, as he stumbled forward tiredly.

Natsu felt as if his heart stopped. _He hadn't meant it like that! No, this was going all wrong!_

"I didn't mean it like _that_! She...she was...that's a totally different situation!" Natsu exclaimed desperately.

"And what do you know?" Gray asked, but his voice cracked and he started to sob silently.

Natsu stared at Gray. So this was everything he was holding in, and now it was worse because of his stupid bad way of wording things. This was why he and the Freezerbrain didn't talk about things like this.

Suddenly a fist slammed down hard onto Gray's head.

"That's _not_ what I meant! Yes, I don't think I like anything about that situation at all, and you're right, I wasn't there and don't know exactly what happened. But the point is we _don't want you to die_. We're _never_ supposed to give up!" Natsu explained, then he hesitantly knelt down beside Gray who was trying desperately to stop crying and pull it together.

Natsu watched helplessly as Gray struggled to stop crying. For a moment Natsu wondered if he should just let Gray have some time alone, but Natsu knew he had to fix this. He'd come to cheer Gray up so things would be back to normal tomorrow, not accidentally hurt his friend even more.

A moment of silence passed, and Gray was still crying. Remembering a time that Gray had once caught him crying one night when he was upset about Igneel's death, even though Natsu had _insisted_ he was _drooling_ because he was _hungry_ and not crying because he was sad. Because sometimes their goofy code words made it easier to deal with in situations like these.

"Stop drooling freezerbrain." Natsu whispered, reaching to punch Gray's chin up to tell him to cheer up. "I'm sorry." Natsu whispered.

"Go away..." Gray managed quietly.

Natsu hadn't seen Gray so exhausted in a long time. He wondered maybe if Gray had been taking it the wrong way more because he was so tired, but he still wished he hadn't worded it so badly.

"I'm sorry..." Natsu whispered as he back away slightly. "I didn't mean it like that."

Natsu turned to glance at Happy, but the exceed had fallen to sleep.

Natsu glanced at Happy and then back at Gray. No way could he leave his friend like this.

Suddenly Gray felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I ain't leaving without you." Natsu said.

Gray pulled away, nearly falling into the water. Natsu quickly lunged forward and grabbed Gray's upper arm. Gray grasped onto Natsu's arm instinctively to avoid falling into the water.

"I'm sorry..." Natsu whispered.

Gray didn't speak, but he leaned forward and head-butted Natsu.

"I'm sorry too." Gray whispered in exhaustion. "I'm-"

Gray's repeated apology was suddenly silenced as Natsu leaned forward and hugged his hurting friend.

Gray startled but was too shocked to do or say anything.

"I'm sorry I worded that so bad." Natsu whispered. "Whatever happened, I'm sorry and I just..." Natsu gritted his teeth. "You're not allowed to use that spell." He said firmly, hugging his friend tighter.

Natsu forced the long lecture he had an urge to spout out to make sure Gray understood him, away. Instead he simply tightened his hold on the ice mage, allowing his fear to escape, causing him to tremble and slowly relax.

As if sensing his thoughts, Gray shivered and then wiped away some of his tears.

"I'm sorry." Gray whispered. "I promised, remember? I...I won't... I ain't going anywhere."

Natsu tightened his grip on the ice make mage, making the other wake up a bit more, and Gray hesitated, and then tried to pull away from Natsu's tight hug.

The two sat in awkward silence for a long moment.

"So..." Natsu said. "You ready to go back to your house and get some sleep?"

Gray shook his head no.

"Okay..." Natsu murmured. "I'm sorry about what I said-" Natsu started but Gray turned to Natsu.

"There's something I have to tell you." Gray said quietly, dismissing Natsu's apology.

His mood seemed more quiet and melancholy.

"Yeah?" Natsu asked, moving slightly closer to his rival.

"Your question. I should've answered at the time...but I couldn't...I don't know why...just was distracted, and didn't expect you to ask something so weird." Gray explained.

Natsu looked thoughtfully at Gray, feeling slightly worried as to what his answer was going to be. But he knew he needed to know.

But then Gray seemed to look rather awkward and he remained silent.

"You have to tell me! You can't back out now!" Natsu warned, desperately not wanting Gray to shut down and not tell him now.

"But...it's so weird..." Gray moaned as he curled up a bit awkwardly.

"Gray!" Natsu exclaimed.

Gray sighed.

"Fine." He said scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "Uh..."

Natsu hoped that somehow, they were still friends. Gray didn't always act like it but Natsu was sure they were friends...even if they weren't...Natsu didn't think he could stop thinking of Gray as his friend.

"I uh...well I didn't think we ever need to say anything...I guess I sorta just thought we both knew...but I guess it's my fault that you ended up questioning it...I guess I've been too closed up with it. Either that or we pretend around Erza and the others too much." Gray said shrugging, despite the hint of lingering guilt in his eyes.

Gray opened his mouth to speak but got awkward again and punched Natsu, knocking him playfully sideways.

"Hey!" Natsu exclaimed. "That's _not_ an answer!"

"Well it's not _my_ fault you're a dummy." Gray argued.

"Tell me the answer!" Natsu exclaimed.

"Is it cuz I act cold sometimes and don't make it obvious?" Gray asked teasingly slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Gray..." Natsu started in frustration, then he realized something.

"Fine. Yeah." Gray forced quickly.

"Yeah..?" Natsu started, then realized what Gray was saying. "We're still friends?" Natsu asked eagerly, his hope feeling fragile as if it would shatter and hurt if Gray were to say no, which would destroy all that Natsu had believed about their friendship for so long. But strangely, despite everything, Natsu trusted that Gray wasn't going to say it that harshly if that was to be the answer.

"Yes flamebrain." Gray answered, smiling tiredly at the dragonslayer.

Natsu's doubt suddenly vanished, making him feel suddenly light and carefree and excited.

Natsu smiled and without thinking and purely out of relief and happiness, lunged forward and hugged the startled, nearly horrified looking ice mage, again, this time Gray swiftly shoved him off.

"No hugs." Gray said firmly turning away awkwardly.

"Um...yeah...no hugs." Natsu agreed just as awkwardly.

Suddenly Natsu remembered the word he'd realized worked perfectly for Gray.

"Hey Gray?" Natsu asked.

"Yeah?" He replied, not turning to face Natsu just yet.

"I've got a new name for you." Natsu declared with the biggest smile on his face, that made Gray feel suspicious.

"And what's that ash for brains? Something creative for once?" Gray asked mockingly.

"Oh yeah." Natsu answered with the upmost confidence. "It's _perfect_."

"What is it flamebrain? Just get it over with." Gray half dismissed in annoyance. "'Cuz I'm really tired..."

Natsu smiled the most mischievous and excited smile that Gray had ever seen him do for months.

 _No way could it be that good._ Gray thought rolling his eyes.

But the word Natsu spoke next startled Gray, taking him by surprise.

"Tsundere!" Natsu announced.

Gray was speechless for a moment. So maybe he didn't mind Natsu knowing that they were friends, but he didn't want his rival to start figuring him out _that_ much!

"What? No!" Gray exclaimed, an uncomfortable awkwardness and desperation for Natsu to drop the idea arose inside him.

Natsu laughed.

"I _knew_ it!" Natsu declared. "Now I know for sure that we're friends _and_ that you're a silly Tsundere!"

"Natsu!" Gray shouted, leaping to his feet and chasing Natsu around, as the dragonslayer laughed joyfully.

"Natsu that's not true!" Gray shouted, not wanting Natsu to spread the idea around anywhere.

Hearing all the commotion Happy awoke from his sleep, and remembered where he was. His worry and concern vanished as he saw Natsu and Gray running around the field laughing and arguing just as they usually were.

It seemed Natsu and Gray had managed to sort things out in their own strange ways, and were now fighting over _something_...whatever it was Happy supposed he'd ask Natsu later. It was late and they were all exhausted, and if Erza were to find out about the two fighting again to fix their problems she wouldn't be too happy.

"Natsu!" Gray shouted as he chase Natsu as they ran home with Happy flying behind them.

" _You're_ just mad because I finally figured you out!" Natsu exclaimed, leaping over a trash can.

"Natsu!" Gray shouted again.

Natsu simply laughed. _As bad as this had gotten, it was all worth it now._ He'd gotten his answer, cheered up Gray, _and_ figured out a new important thing about his rival/ best friend.

"Goodnight!" Gray called as he went into his house.

"Goodnight!" Natsu called, and then he mouthed the word Tsundere, and smiled mischievously.

"Natsu!"

And when they went back to the guild the next day, their friends could tell that both seemed to be back to normal again. Back to their old fighting and teasing and arguing competitive selves. But whenever Erza intervened, the two seemed like sudden best friends.

And when they were hanging out in the guild casually unaware of their other friends paying much attention to them. They would get along and talk casually for awhile, until they would just taunt and fight again. Natsu refused to drop the new name he'd come up with for Gray, causing even more fights between the two.

Natsu loved it. And he assumed as mad as he was making Gray with the Tsundere accusation, that the smiling ice mage was having just as much fun as he was.


End file.
